There's No Such Thing as a Balanced Life

If you're a coach, a business person, a busy person, an overwhelmed person, you're probably seeking what the 'experts' call - balance.

While this sounds great, it's an unrealistic term that sets you up for failure.

I know I'll probably get a lot of heat from people out there (and especially coaches) because I should know better as I'm a coach, but I'm tired of hearing the word balance. Frankly, we use it too much and it only makes us feel worse about our lives.

Here are the fallacies with using the word:

1. What does balance mean to you? Here's where the first problem starts. Everyone's idea of balance is different, therefore a guru telling you what looks 'normal' in your life has no idea. They may work 60 hours a week and feel healthy, happy and secure. You may work 40 and think you're working too much because you have another job and six children.

2. Nothing in life is static: It's impossible to have a total balance in your life. Just when your finances are improving, your relationship with your significant other may be going through a challenge. You may have one area of your life shine, and another area needs work. As a coach, I work on all areas to improve them and while most areas may be great, life happens.

You may have everything appearing to be in balance and then you get laid off at work. Your finances, career, relationships may be great and then your father passes away. There is no permanent balance - life is constantly growing and changing. In fact, the universe is still continuing to expand.

Life is like that - unpredicatable, uncontrollable...all you can do is control your beliefs and actions.

3. Being caught up in the word 'balance' can make you feel depressed, frustrated and downright miserable. As mentioned earlier, there will always be one area of your life that's weaker than the rest - if only for a short time. This word should only be used to mention credits and debits, scales, what's left of something or a weighing device.

4. Use a different word for your life: Instead of balance, you should be focusing on a word that mentions how you are constantly changing and growing to create the life and world you desire.

5. Be more accepting of life: We spend a lot of time fighting and complaining about our situation in life. In Buddhism, the teachings talk about accepting and making peace with your life, no matter how good or bad. This isn't easy, but a softer heart and lack of cynicism will make your life more enjoyable and you will have a chance to positively affect the lives of others.

6. It's about prioritizing: Forget balance, life is a smorgasboard of choices. It's about what you decide to believe in, who you hang out with, what you do for work, how you spend your time. If you're not sure what your priorities are, simply open your calendar and study the time and activities that fill your book. Is your time spent shopping, being with family, working, playing, creating, loving, making a difference?

As a last note to help you in 2008, skip the word balance, and go for passion!

Lisa Rickwood, "Small Biz Stress Buster," is a small business coach, visual artist and author of Escape The Pace: 100 Fun And Easy Ways To Slow Down And Enjoy Your Life and co-author of Power & Soul: 42 Successful Entrepreneurs Share their Secrets for Creating the Business and Life of Their Dreams. She helps small business owners ‘master stress for professional and personal success.’ Get your FREE e-book, 5 Critical Actions That Hurt Your Business and Add Stress to Your Life…and How to Escape Them by visiting: http://www.escapethepace.com

10 Secrets to Survive Christmas While You Run Your Company



1. Nix Bad Personal Habits: Unwanted habits detract from life enjoyment. This includes: abusing our bodies, ignoring family and friends, working too hard. We need to have enough awareness to overcome these habits that cut into both personal and work time. This means less sugary treats, getting more sleep, watching the work hours and so forth.

2. Nix Bad Business Habits: These include not networking properly – not following up properly with people. Bad business habits also include: reinventing the wheel, not being resistant to change, not being open to lifelong learning, not planning properly, berating the competition and more. This can extend to Christmas where you do more networking, find yourself up against the competition, and need to prepare for the upcoming year.

3. Eliminate Time Wasters: Whether you’re shopping for gifts, volunteering for an event or completing a project, the only true currency is time. You have to be honest about what gets your attention, time, resources, talents, and life energy. At this time of year, you only have so much time to run your business, grab some presents and attend the parties; be ruthless with your time.

4. Think Like a Child. Remember Christmas when you were a child? Remember the magic, Santa Claus, the decorations, food, presents and relatives? As adults, we get caught up in working overtime, paying bills and obsessing about impending holiday expenses, working indoors and not playing in snow, complaining about how the year has gone, etc. Take some time and add a few childlike things to your day to help you relax and have fun.
Some ideas include: bringing hot cocoa to work, exchanging presents with staff, putting up a Christmas tree, having a stupid idea day where everyone anonymously writes down silly ways to make more money, dress like Santa, put on goofy Christmas music, tell jokes, hold contests for silly prizes. Work on making the atmosphere professional but fun. Then, see how you can plan some post Christmas getaways to recapture the fun you had as a kid.

5. Create Time Boundaries: No other time of year do you get more distractions than right before Christmas. More people call on your time, ask for your skills, talents and before you know it, you’re exhausted. You need to create time boundaries and walls in general. Decide how to say “no”, when people can phone you, meet with you, etc. When you control how your time is used, your life feels calm, cool and relaxed.

6. Brilliant Budgets: Successful businesses plan ahead and have budgets. You should also do this with Christmas spending. Decide how much you will spend on gift giving but don’t forget to consider other incidentals like travel costs, clothing, food, decorations and more. Often, we budget for the obvious but forget about the smaller things and these really add up.

7. Simplify: If you want a great Christmas - simplify. Don’t fall into the trap of having to be everything to everyone, buy lots of presents and complicate your life by attending every social function on earth. Cut back on things that don’t really serve you and stop buying junk.
Some ideas for presents include: gift certificates, donating to the needy, buying ‘green products,’ adopting an animal, donating to wildlife funds, planting a tree, adding to someone’s travel fund, cooking meals for students or the elderly, creating certificates that offer chores you’ll do for someone – use your imagination. Studies show that people really enjoy having practical gifts and things they wouldn’t indulge in for themselves.

8. Good is Great Enough: This comes back to perfection. Whether you’re buying gifts for Christmas or creating a project at work, stop obsessing. Dan Kennedy, a master marketer said that ‘good is good enough.’ I think he has a point; if you do your best at the time, don’t obsess about it, move on. Money likes speed and in today’s competitive marketplace, the person who’s trying to perfect something loses money because the faster person gets the customers and clients. Slow companies are left in the dust.

9. Risk It: Have you ever stood in a store and pondered for 20 minutes over the perfect gift for someone? Most of us have at one point or another; we wanted to impress or make someone feel good and we could not make up our mind on whether our choice was good enough. Much like saying ‘good is good enough’, sometimes you just have to risk it and buy that gift. Or, in business, take a chance, phone that person who makes you nervous, do some cold calling, speak in front of 500 people – you need to get out of your comfort zone and risk because those who do, get the fruit. Hence the saying, ‘Why not go out on a limb, isn’t that where the fruit is?’

10. Use Your Team: Most successful companies use the best people to achieve their goals. They have a team of experts, a vision and goals and they achieve what needs to be done. The same can be said about your personal team – your friends and family. Can you call on them to help you out? Can you run errands for them? This is a time when people should be working together as a team to fulfill goals. Don’t be afraid to ask for help; people are more connected when they help each other.

If you follow these ten steps, you should have a more relaxed and happy holiday season. When this doesn’t work, book your ticket to somewhere warm, grab your suitcase and get the heck out of here. Even Santa takes a vacation.

Lisa Rickwood, "Small Biz Stress Buster," is a small business coach, visual artist and author of Escape The Pace: 100 Fun And Easy Ways To Slow Down And Enjoy Your Life and co-author of Power & Soul: 42 Successful Entrepreneurs Share their Secrets for Creating the Business and Life of Their Dreams. She helps small business owners ‘master stress for professional and personal success.’ Get your FREE e-book, 5 Critical Actions That Hurt Your Business and Add Stress to Your Life…and How to Escape Them by visiting: http://www.escapethepace.com/