Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Stress-Busting and Negative People

"I'd love people if it wasn't for people." - Anonymous quote

The other day, I had one of the most uncomfortable business meetings imaginable. I'd had a tough day (which isn't hard when you're an entrepreneur) and encountered someone whose energy didn't jive with mine.

I consider myself easy going and get along with most people but for some reason, the second I entered the room for a meeting, the energy was bad. I felt frustration, resentment, anger and actual heat rising from my cheeks.

Once the meeting was over, I started thinking about it. For one thing, the person made me feel like an idiot (technically only I can make myself feel this way - according to Dr. Phil), they talked down to me in a condescending way and didn't know my capabilities. I sat there and took it like a wimp.

When I got home, I was mad at myself for not standing up for myself. In truth, I couldn't believe how the meeting unfolded; no harsh words were said but you could've cut tension with a knife.

What do you do when you encounter negative people? This is one of our biggest stressors and accounts for many challenges in life and the workplace. There will always be someone who doesn't jive with us - that's life. We have to learn to deal with it.

Here are some things to help ease the stress:

1. Pay attention to your body signals: Are you feeling stressed, anxious, angry, removed, ignored, not validated?
2. Why do you think this is happening? Is this person degrading you, yelling, being condescening? Why do you think this is happening?
3. Are you feeling less than confident? For me,I was feeling like a 'fish out of water' and even though I came to this person for their expertise, I felt inadequate, insecure and sensitive.
4. Have a plan of how to deal with certain people. For example, if you don't get along with bossy or overbearing people, keep your distance, speak up for yourself or understand that this is how they deal with things in life. Don't take it personal
5. If you're a sensitive person and people's negative or stressful moods 'rub off on you', learn to not take things seriously, realize it's their issues unless you make it yours and have some way to blow off stress and steam if their feelings get to you.
For me, I had to go for a run after this experience - I was so unsettled that there was no way to calm down unless I burned off the extra adrenaline.

It's not easy dealing with people but if you're honest, friendly and you don't take things personally, things will be a whole lot easier. I wish you well.

Lisa

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Have You Failed Lately - If Not, Get to It!

Recently, I read an article about the woman who created Spanx, Sara Blakely, - the wonderful invention for women...undergarments that don't have bumps, lumps and they truly make you look great without liposuction.

One thing that really stood out in the article was the fact that Sara struggled with her concept for a while. She also failed miserably with her company in the beginning stages. In fact, her father instilled the concept of FAILING.

He would ask her, "What have you failed at this week?" If she didn't have an answer, he was disappointed. It's not that he wanted her to just go 'out and fail,' on the contrary. He wanted her to learn that it's okay to fail- that she shouldn't hold back from working on her dreams because of 'fear of failure.'

She should be bold and learn from her mistakes. The result? She created one of the most successful and fastest growing companies. All because she wasn't afraid of failure and saw it as a stepping stone to success.

So...what have you failed lately? Make a list and then see what you've learned. If you've learned, you've succeeded in some way.

Have a great week and 'go for it' and take risks.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

"I'm not participating!"

Yesterday, I was working in my retail store when a gentleman said, "I'm not participating!"

It made me laugh because I was thinking about my two sons who would say that when they didn't want to do something. I would immediately find fault in their thinking.

Here was a man saying the same thing but there was no fault in his thinking. He was talking about the media, the scare tactics, and this 'so-called economic crisis.'

"What do you mean?" I quizzed him.

"I refuse to succumb to negativity and get sucked into all that the media is saying. They thrive on scare tactics and sell more when we're scared."

I pondered this and thought about all the people who lost their jobs - my friends, recently, my mother and yes, the slowdown in spending. Being a retailer, I saw the effects in October; people glued themselves to their chairs and watched the news to find out what to do next. No one knew. Everyone ran around in a panicked state. Our store sales dropped and our recently hired employee was terminated.

I should've been depressed and at my lowest point. After all, I had planned to transition from the store and this person was taking my place. I was moving on to do my writing, coaching and other things and had looked forward to this for years.

But a funny thing happened to me. Rather than 'give in' like I normally do, I limited the amount of news I watched, grabbed some funny movies and worked on raising my energy level. I didn't want to feel bad - I couldn't afford to be negative in my store. I kept feeling positive and then something really funny happened...I got offered to write for one company, got hired to do work for another company, I still work with hubby in the store and I'm so busy it's insane.

By not participating in this 'event,' I'm attacting a number of quiet followers who are going through transitions, moving forward and making positive changes in the world. This is pure proof that the positive outweights the negative.

So the next time you feel overwhelmed and scared, shut off the news, go exercise, rent a funny movie or engage in something uplifting!

Happy escaping,



Lisa Rickwood

Monday, February 23, 2009

Are You Being Authentic in life and business?

I have a confession to make. I'm not as authentic in life and business as I could be. I tell the truth, don't make it a habit to lie or deceive anyone...except myself.
If you run a business, you know you have to 'fudge' things from time to time to get through the day and generate moolah.

You know the scenario...Someone asks their opinion of something and while you may be honest, you don't want to be brutal so you 'soften' your answer.

Or, if you've had a business for a while and started out with passion and then the money didn't come as well as you thought, you probably changed things to suit the market and bring in the revenue. However, in the process, you may have lost your integrity to yourself.

I say this because a coach recently called it on me. I'd been running my company, Escape the Pace, like all the other ones online and was frustrated because it just wasn't working. Somehow in all the training, courses and tele-seminars I'd taken, I'd paid attention to what everyone else was saying and lost my own voice.

I forgot to use my skills for desiging, drawing, and singing and integrate them into the business. Are there skills you could bring into the business regardless of whether they generate money? Are these skills uniquely you? You should add them to your life and business - people want to feel the depth of others.

Maybe you've noticed that you've lost your 'mojo, edge, confidence, power, integrity, passion, energy...' Whatever you call it, if you feel like something is missing, it may be time to try this exercise:


Take out a pen and paper, set a timer for 10 minutes and then write as fast as you can - all the things you love and have a passion for. Also include what makes you different, fun, inspirational, creative...Have fun with this and don't edit.

Once you do this, read through your list and take one thing that you can do today to bring back your 'mojo, edge, confidence, power, integrity, passion, energy...

I hope you get one step closer to your authenticity and passion in your life and business. Let me know how you do - I'd love to hear. Happy escaping! Lisa

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Can't Make a Change Unless You Slow Down - and Meditate

I'm not a big fan of meditating - I bet you're shocked with this statement. It's not the meditating, it's the sitting still. I suffer from ADD and used to get in a lot of trouble in class when I was younger.

I would learn the material and then fidget in class. So, when a coach told me to meditate I thought I would scream - it's so not me to sit still.

However, I discovered that there were various types of meditating so if you were like me and couldn't sit still, there was hope. Guided meditation (where you listen to a tape or MP3 of someone talking with music in the background) is the best way to calm down and focus if you're a distracted thinker. Another type of meditation is - 'Seeing Meditation' which I describe in the 2 Minute Tuesday Excerpt below.

Enjoy and visit the link at: Lisa's Two Minute Tuesdays Excerpt - Seeing Meditation.